Lyrics
I have always wanted to dedicate a space somewhere to compiling the lines of awkward poetry that consume the sides of my history notes and the pages of my notes app - but I never knew how that would look! With this page, I am carving out a small space for myself to upload some of the songs of which I am most proud.
Though right now these words come unadorned, it is my hope that 2020 will be the year I finally put together a musical project I have been working on throughout college called Unbecoming - so check back soon!
Virility
a tiger’s claw on chiseled jaws
a threatening chance to see who draws
our notions of virility
are masked by our sincerity
you pull me in to taste the talk
the stinging’s cuz the feeling’s raw
we keep our thoughts to sense of touch
for words can get stretched in the wash
I’ve learned to sit and hide my teeth
you’ve numbered off the days and weeks
why label that of which we speak
when talking seems to make us weak?
we’re told that men were made to act
we treat the myths they spin as fact
we can’t come down from lip-stained calls
are we prepared to risk it all?
consult mirrors made for a prince
and ask how did we get like this?
for phrases turn to scars that last
if we can’t learn to mend them fast
I’ve learned to sit and hide my teeth
you’ve numbered off the days and weeks
why label that of which we speak
when talking seems to make us weak
why push us closer to the brink?
I just said the three words
did you really mean that?
gamble it on three words
dealer shows all in his stack
I just said the three words
now the mood shifts back
strangers since the short-term
story from a paperback
I just said the three words
did I really mean that?
gambled it on three words
gave my hand, no going back
I just said the three words
did I really mean that?
strangers now forevermore
story from a paperback
our notions of virility
our notions of virility
our notions of virility
are masked by our sincerity
Beard
I used to try to click my heels
escape my old Kentucky home
I feared that staying in that place
would leave me mask on unmarked bone
the fantasy’s a price I paid
to keep my weak defenses up
the fantasy’s a price I paid
to keep from parting with this clutch
oh
I’m sick of hiding my face from those I know
I’m sick of keeping myself down on the low
I’m ready to be myself without you here tonight
I’m shaving and it feels so right
I used to try to click my heels
let soul-less low tops grind to dust
the surface layers til’ the taste
of wasted years was in my blood
to lovers whom I hid behind
the friends to whom I always lied
to nights of crying bathroom floors
to losing lives in mental wars
I’m giving up my scuffed shoe fight
I’m shaving off my beard tonight
oh
I’m sick of hiding my face from those I know
I’m sick of keeping myself down on the low
I’m ready to be myself without you here tonight
I’m shaving and it feels so right
I’m ready to throw myself into the rush
done havin’ my hands always tied up in this clutch
I love you but it’s just me myself and I tonight
I’m shaving and it feels so right
all of Dorothy’s friends know
the road is hard to walk alone
gold-coated
deeply-moated
on the way to find your home
so ‘long the way
you’ll need some help
from midnight tins and loving growls
until the scares recede at last
your ruby kicks - a costumed past
I hated every inch of me
the ever fluctuating pound
until I got the strength to shave
my beard that nearly touched the ground
Margins
I web myself
in all your red lines -
signing across in BIC,
bleeding in ink for clarity
the legal ruled
a three year headline
was disconnected from my mind
until you drew outside of my binds
how is it that we’re always at arms
length from the rush that is sounding alarms?
point to the paper and pen in the chase
I’ll run off the page with your hand on my waist
how is it that we’re always at arms?
I mark myself,
dot i’s like goodbyes
floating around my room in his shirt
trading my pain for the taste of his words
catch myself at the edge of red line
choosing to cross was the best thing I did
falling without the blink of a lid
how is it that your words are what stay?
markin’ up corners and linin’ the page
if this is a chapter, I don’t want the end
a lover is best when they’re also a friend
how is that your words are what stay?
oh babe,
we dance around the margins.
just say
this feelings only startin’
and it never ends.
I hope it never ends.
flash to the climax -
we’re up in your room
stripped off the covers,
it’s just me and you
alone
we’re free and we know
how is it that you’ve chosen to stay
with all the fears I have hidden away
calming my past with the kindest of eyes
I’ll never forget all the tears you have wiped
how is that you’ve chosen to stay?
oh babe,
we dance around the margins
just say
this feelings only startin’
and it never ends
I hope it never ends
I could spend eternities
wrapped in your thoughts like this
I’m writing in the margins
as you reminisce